it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
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