yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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