I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
