Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize
