He is such a slut. More and more my type.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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