At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
