and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
