dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
