office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Randomize