Where did you get a picture of my penis
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize