i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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