I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
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I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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