he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
