I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
