Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize