I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
