I can't watch pbs sober anymore
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
