Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
