The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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