I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
my sisters under your porch take her home
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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