It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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