I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
