Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
