so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize