Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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