She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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