You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize