i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
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headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
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What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
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