Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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