spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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