We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
