i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
