Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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