I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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