Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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