So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
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Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
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I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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