This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
