It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
