Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
