i don't like sucking hair
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
