Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
