So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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