I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
