So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize