yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
