why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
