is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
