Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
