My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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