atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
