Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
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I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
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But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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