Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
