I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
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dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
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When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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