I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
