it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Fuck appropriateness.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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