I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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